Relationship Issues
Find The Right Partner & Build A Meaningful Relationship
Counseling can help:
- Help get you ready to be in a relationship.
- Understand and develop the best ways for you to meet and get to know potentially good partners. (Coaching by me).
- Understand what you are looking for in a relationship.
- Identify potential partners who will work out well for you. i.e. “fit you.”
- Identify potential partners who are ready for a commitment if that is what you are looking for.
- Identify red flag issues in relationships sooner thus avoiding
In choosing a partner you should be able to say yes to almost all of the statements below:
- She or he wants a commitment with me.
- She or he has been stable emotionally for at least six months.
- She or he is available and has the time to make our relationship healthy.
- She or he is willing to talk through a disagreement.
- She or he can put relationship needs ahead of personal needs when necessary.
- I feel cared for and comfortable with my partner.
- My partner has been sexually and emotionally monogamous for the past six months.
- My partner and I are most often in agreement in how to spend time and money.
The next step: relationship counseling can help you:
- Understand how you relate to other people.
- Identify issues which may be interfere with your ability to develop closeness.
- Build your self-esteem so that you are more willing to take emotional risks.
- Resolve conflict without hurting the relationship.
- Learn how to maintain a successful relationship.
15 Traits of a Healthy Relationship with a Friend or a Partner
- Boundaries:Each person can say “no” to requests from the partner/friend when necessary without feeling guilty and be able to tell their partner/friend when something feels not right or hurts them.
- Both members of the relationship know how to be responsible for their own needs and still take care of the relationship between them.
- People pleasing is kept to a minimum and neither one feels they are making a “great sacrifice” to stay in the relationship.
- Each person is able to do their work, attend to their children, care for other aspects of their life, without threatening the relationship.
- Both members of the relationship protect and nourish the relationship and make it a priority (not addicted to work or substances for example).
- Arguments or fights do not lead to verbal, physical or emotional (ignoring) abuse or threats of abandonment of the relationship.
- Both members of the relationship can manage conflict and differences without despair or threats.
- Both members can communicate wants, needs, feelings, and emotional issues with little or no shame.
- There is unconditional love but not unconditional agreement.
- The relationship feels and is nurturing, comfortable, and fun.
- Both members of the relationship attend to the needs of the other member willingly and lovingly when appropriate.
- Both members of the relationship can and do keep agreements (maturity) and are honest.
- Both members can hear feedback from each other.
- In a partner relationship the sex is mutually pleasing and satisfying.
- There is commitment:: exits are blocked in the relationship.
Resources
Tips for Using Websites to Meet Potential Partners
Relationship Search Action Plan
An exercise to help you build an action plan for finding friends and dating partners.
Dating Tips for socially anxious people
Practical tips that you can follow to reduce anxiety when dating.
Contact Dr. Wesson For An Appointment
Dr. Wesson sees clients in a relaxed, comfortable, private setting in Mountain View. To have a consultation or to make an appointment, call or text Dr. Wesson at (650) 965-7332 or email her at Dr.nwesson@gmail.com.